Life goes on

Wow how time flies. I didn't even get to post a YouTube Friday this week, oops! I spent half of my day trying to entertain my family without blowing my top, and the other half trying to change cellphone networks. The former was accomplished. The latter is still going on and has been passed onto the new company's tech team. It shouldn't be that hard. But I know through Paul's work (he's a programmer) that tech things are usually not as straight forward as they appear. So I'm feeling pretty patient on that one. In pregnancy hope news, my boobs are bigger and a bit sore, I'm super tired all the time, I'm constipated, and I feel ill every so often. So I'm hopeful. It is day 30 of my irregular cycle. And everything I just mentioned can also mean PMS for me. So if the Red Monster doesn't come, I will test next weekend. And life will go on.

Family is what you make it

I follow a few blogs, all mothers, and love to catch up every day with how their families are. All are the normal mum, dad and kids families (although three of the six are mothers of triplets) and I think of how normal, yet different my family is. I grew up with my Mum, Dad and sister, Bea. Paul grew up with his Mum, Dad, brother and sister (also named Bea). Yet now we live with his parents and sister, so dimentions have changed, with Pauls brother and wife living south, and a frequently visiting cousin. All of this has made me conclude that family really is what you make it. My sister flats with two girls and hangs out with a group from her church. They are her family. The Koreans, Chinese, Iranians and South Aficans at my parents church are their family. My family is a nuclear family, as in we explode when we come together. There is a lot of love there, but we function better living in different parts of the country. On a side not I am bloated, and need to pee all the time, and hopefully that means pregnancy. But since I have the world smallest bladder and a sensitive stomach, I am trying not to get my hopes up. The disappointed feeling will be great enough already.

Update

So the good news is that we will get the house. We just don't know when, could be 3 or four weeks. If something goes wrong again it could be more. It all depends on the council and their availablity. Paul tried to put together a side table that arrived this morning. His spatial awareness is not particularly great. I usually build those things. In fact I had to finish it quickly after work, because watching him was slow and painful. Still trying to convince him it doesn't make him any less manly. Third piece of information to share, our regional manager is visiting to do a partial refit this week. I'm pretty sure my boss will leave me to manage the situation. So it's going to be a dumb week. Again. Can't wait to stop working. As long I have goals to work towards, I cope. Manageable steps. Plenty of goals in my life these days.

You Tube Friday - Michael Henry and Justin Robinett cover Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute

In a rut

So, once again I'm slacking off on my goals. It's been a very stressful couple of weeks with lots of jobs to do, never feeling like I'm finishing anything. My desk is piling up with papers and things to do. But today I could see the end of the tunnel, and it felt good. Also we've been catching up on all of our favorite t.v. shows. Castle, Body of Proof and Bones for me. Grey's Anatomy and House for Paul. See a pattern there? He's also into the whole lawyer show like The Good Wife and Ally McBeal as well. Still no word on a definite house move-in date, or on a pregnancy either. We just take it one month at a time these days. Such a weird concept. Learning to live in the present is hard after so many future dreams.

Thoughts while watching Tangeled

I remember having a discussion about the content of school required reading with one of my high school teachers once. I felt that it was ridiculous that we had to read such depressing novels. He told me that we should read things that were equal to reality. My stance was, and still is, that if reality is that bad, why the heck would we want bad endings in our books. I only like books that end with happy endings. And that really end. Same with movies. I am a true pessimist who always expects the worst in my life. I prefer to be pleasantly surprised than horrifically disappointed. but I love happily ever after. That's why I love Disney and Pixar so much. Lessons with a positive twist. No wonder kids that only ever read at school learn to hate it. Pick better novels!

YouTube Friday - Sam Tsui - Love the Way You Lie Mashup

And it's Friday again. Thank goodness. I found this amazing talent for you today.

Anxiety

I suffered from severe anxiety while in my final years of high school and at university. It was crippling and painful, and for the most part I thought it was normal. When I finished university, I decided to take a break from the strenuous work of that profession, and work in retail for a while. I figured that things might brighten up if I didn't care about my job. It didn't quite work like that. Although I can leave my work behind when I go home at night, I am challenged everyday with customers, suppliers and stock decisions. For the most part I enjoy my job. I work with great people and I like how every day is different. But there are times, like this last week where suddenly a whole lot of work appears with a very short deadline. My anxiety starts to flare up. I panic. I procrastinate. I get severely grumpy. And my husband gets it all at home. The separation between home and work becomes blurry. That is the character flaw I'm currently working on. I figure I should take it one flaw at a time. No need to overwhelm myself even more. The point is, I don't want to be that person again. Anxiety is not a great feeling.

Goals for 2012

So this year, we made goals. My husbands cousin wrote them all down in a notepad so that we can revisit them at the end of the year and see if we accomplished them. My goal was to get pregnant. Still no luck there. Jumping my husband every chance I get. Paul's (my husband) goal was to buy a house. Now that goal should have been pretty straight forward. We had a good enough deposit, and after all the hoo-ha with the bank, we finally got pre-approval for a mortgage. In February we found our home. So far so good. The place may look messy from the outside (it hasn't been painted since it was built in the 70's), it has just about everything we need. It has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and 2 living areas, plus a laundry, and a garage with internal access. Seriously good stuff in our price range. And then we got the council report. The previous owner (before the guy selling it to us) had built in the basement. All good. Except that he got no permits. And post-permitting is quite possibly the hardest thing to accomplish in the home-owning world. So of course one of our conditions to buy the place is that it gets permitted first. Save ourselves the hassle and money. Except that it's now June. The poor guy who owns the house has to get reports and changes from all over the place. And it's not easy. So we're still waiting. And our pre-approval is running out. On the eleventh. So something better happen fast. This has been a great way to learn patience. And to buy all brand new furniture with the money we're supposed to be saving. But currently we're living in the self-contained sleep-out at my in-laws place. I don't mind too much, I actually get on really well with my in-laws. But it's hard to have all my stuff inaccessible in boxes in the garage. And it's hard to have no dryer (or hair dryer) in the middle of winter. And I hate that my 16 year old sister-in-law picks on and insults my husband every chance she gets. Those two living on the same property is not ideal. So yeah, I'm looking forward to our own place. There's a challenge with this house too. Our aim is to be as hospitable as possible. To have people around to use our large deck and BBQ, to play on the Xbox, to just hang out. Also to have people stay when they're in town, whether we know them or not. If we're blessed with this place we need to give back. And that is hard when you're as unsociable as we are. So I'm hoping you will keep me accountable. If I don't mention that someone's been around in a while, hit me up. Let me know I'm not sticking to my challenge. Hopefully I'll have updated news about this situation shortly. Well about all our goals and challenges.

YouTube Friday! - Mike Tompkins - Dynamite (Cover)

So, one of my hobby's is checking out all the musical talent that is on YouTube. I want to share some of that talent with you all. So this Friday, I'm going to post the first awesome musical cover I saw on YouTube 18 months ago.