Life goes on

Wow how time flies. I didn't even get to post a YouTube Friday this week, oops! I spent half of my day trying to entertain my family without blowing my top, and the other half trying to change cellphone networks. The former was accomplished. The latter is still going on and has been passed onto the new company's tech team. It shouldn't be that hard. But I know through Paul's work (he's a programmer) that tech things are usually not as straight forward as they appear. So I'm feeling pretty patient on that one. In pregnancy hope news, my boobs are bigger and a bit sore, I'm super tired all the time, I'm constipated, and I feel ill every so often. So I'm hopeful. It is day 30 of my irregular cycle. And everything I just mentioned can also mean PMS for me. So if the Red Monster doesn't come, I will test next weekend. And life will go on.

When are you going to have babies?

There is a question that people ask as soon as a tangible comittment is made in a relationship. For us, it began when we got married. When are you going to have babies? Now, to begin with, I didn't mind the question. I'd laugh it off and say we weren't ready. And as much as my heart ached for a child, we really weren't ready. But as time went on, we became ready. We had made it to a place where we could reasonably have a child. We were looking for a house, we had stable incomes, we were emotionally there. That was 6 months ago. Now, my heart flips every time I see a pregnant woman or new baby. I cry everytime the Red Monster arrives. I mentally cringe everytime someone asks the question. I still laugh it off, but it breaks my heart a little more everytime. You can't exactly say to someone "oh yeah, we're trying, but obviously something's not working, what do you suggest?". It's not exactly great conversation. And who wants to share that with your boss/Bible study leader/distant aquaintance anyway? We've shared with a few close family members, but even they don't know the stuggle we're going through. I never thought it would be me. So, random Internet reader, when are you going to have babies?